"Missing" from Fallen Host
"Missing" from Apocalypse Array (in .PDF format)
You actually freaking wrote.
Okay, I'm officially floored. And, well, strangely touched. I always knew I was more to you than just another pretty face. See, it's the underwear, Dee. It keeps us close.
Things here are much as they were. The walls are still white. I did try to change that, and I discovered the Powers That Be really rather frown on redecoration... especially when it involves, well, human waste. But what else did I have at my disposal? It's not like they give me much to work with here! It was a worthwhile experiment, despite the drugs they put me on for a... month? ...days? that made me all sleepy and irritated. The good news is that I found out that I can get people to show up if I do something really outrageous. That's kind of comforting in its own sick way.
Oh, and I owe you one.
I'd probably still be on the drugs if my solicitor hadn't shown up and kicked some serious butthocks. With Christyakov on the job, I might even get my newspapers back. That would be cool. I still don't know what day it is. I'm sure Christyakov scare the wee out of Powers that Be. I mean, you've seen him. Half his face is bio-wear. All that hardware makes him look like a walking tank. Well, hell, he is a freaking tank. That's how they built the old cyborgs. Thank Allah, he's on my side, you know what I mean? Although he's told me that he uses the blinking lights to his advantage in the court room. I could see that. He's wiley. That's why I hired him. Oh, that, and Russia still thinks of me as their Division of Commerce, thanks to Mouse.net.
Damn, there goes the timer. I swear they give me less and less time to dicate these letters. Anyway, uh, what else can I say? I'm touched that you wrote. But, do me a favor, Dee? Cut with the pity/self-pity crap. I'm not holding any grudges against you. You won the game, that's how it goes. May the best person win, that's what I always say. This time it was you. Next time... who can say?