“Focusing on the Needs of Others”

Philippians 2:1-5

           

Mike Barnett, September 30, 2007

 

Today’s Focus: Friendship Ministry (The Stewardship of Relationships)

 

Food for Thought: “People of Faith Put Others First”

 

Forward in Faith . . .

            F ocusing on the needs of others

            A cknowledging the gifts of God’s people

I nvesting in Kingdom building

            T eaching the Word of Life

            H onoring God through passionate worship

Luke 5:22-32 says:

22Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? 24But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 25Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today."

 27After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, 28and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.

 29Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. 30But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and 'sinners'?"

 31Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. 32I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."

Introduction: This is the story regarding how Jesus called Levi to be a disciple and changed his name to Matthew who wrote the book of Matthew in the Bible.  Jesus had spent the afternoon teaching and healing to the amazement of all who heard and saw Him. After all, to see a man shriveled since birth get off his pallet and not only walk but dance and shout must have been absolutely glorious! It surely impressed Peter. And it moved a hated tax collector named Levi so much he invited Jesus to share supper with him. Jesus said, “I’d be happy to,” much to the chagrin of His disciples.

 

Peter was especially annoyed and scolded Him, “You can’t be seen dining with sinners. People will think you are no better than they.”

 

Jesus was quick but compassionate in His correction of Peter. “Sinners are precisely the ones I should dine with. A doctor doesn’t treat the healthy, but the sick. The Lord is not sent to the saints, but to sinners, for the heart of the Lord is mercy” (paraphrase). And with that, He entered the house of Levi for supper.

 

After the eating, dancing, laughing, and partying had subsided, Peter himself was drawn to the door of the tax collector’s house to see if his Master had survived. There he found Jesus—His arm around Levi, praying with him, transforming him. Peter, too, was drawn in, and in one of the truly memorable moments of Scripture, Peter learned what the gospel of Christ was all about. To win souls to the Kingdom, the first step is to become a friend, to accept one another in all our humanity (Stan Toler, The People Principle: Transforming Laypersons into Leaders, 1997, pp. 120–121).

 

·        Friendship is accepting one another, just as Christ has accepted us.

 

·        Oddly, most people would say they want to have friends, yet few are willing to pay the price in order to become a friend to others.

 

·        The price tag for friendship is loving and accepting a person where they are and is not contingent on them changing.

 

·        Like Peter, we seem to have lots of excuses for keeping other people at arm’s length.

 

·        But being a friend is not an optional activity for a person of faith.

 

·        It’s part of God’s plan for being a whole and healthy person as well as for building His Kingdom.

 

·        Do you have friends? Are you a friend to others? It’s important. Let’s find out why.

 

Philippians 2:1-5 says:

 

1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:

 

1) Relationships Are Part of God’s Plan for a Fulfilled Life. (Verse 1)

 

A. Relationships open up a world of possibilities.

 

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion . . .”

 

Illustration: I have observed that each friend we meet represents a new world for us, a world that may not even exist until we meet that person. Friendships open up a world of possibilities. Sadly, many people often choose to leave those worlds unexplored.

 

·        Some people think they don’t have time for friendship.

 

·        Life is hectic. A national magazine survey reveals 80 percent of people feel stress at work.

 

·        Work, church, and school activities keep us busy five, six, or seven days a week.

 

·        Building relationships takes time and effort; we wonder if it’s worth it.

 

·        Many people have “relationship waiting lists.” They don’t have room in their schedule to add one more relationship.

 

·        Do you have time to be a friend?

 

ILLUS: Leonard Syme, professor of epidemiology at the University of California at Berkeley, indicates the importance of social ties and social support systems in relationship to mortality and disease rates. He points to Japan as number one in the world with respect to health and then discusses the close social, cultural, and traditional ties in that country as the reason. He believes the more social ties, the better the health and the lower the death rate. Conversely, he finds the more isolated the person, the poorer the health and the higher the death rate. Social ties are good preventive medicine for physical problems and for mental-emotional-behavior problems (Martin and Diedre Bobgan, How to Counsel from Scripture, 1985, p. 18).

 

B. Failure to build relationships is costly.

 

Illustration: We have more stress, not less, when we are isolated. How many mistakes have resulted in your life from loneliness or the failure to seek counsel and support of friends?

 

·        In prison, solitary confinement is the worst possible punishment! Clearly, God intends for us to build relationships with others.

 

·        Friendship is one of the small things people try to ignore and yet maintain good health.

 

·        But like high cholesterol or high blood pressure, the absence of strong relationships will take its toll eventually.

 

·        God intends for us to have friends and to be friends. Do you have good friends? Are you a good friend to others?

 

C. God’s plan is for us to have good relationships.

 

Illustration: It wasn’t good for Adam to be alone, so God created Eve as a companion. The Bible is filled with examples of good friends: Aaron and Hur who helped Moses, David and Jonathan, Ruth and Naomi, and Paul and Barnabas.

 

·        A good friend helps you grow:

 

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).

 

·        A good friend steers you right:

 

“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses” (Proverbs 27:6).

 

D. Friendships will build the Kingdom of God.

 

Illustration: Jesus’ disciples brought individuals to meet the Master—Andrew brought Peter; Philip brought Nathanael.

 

·        Who brought you to Christ?

 

·        Your relationships can be a powerful vehicle for witnessing.

 

·        Who will you bring to Jesus?

 

ILLUS: In a survey of 4,000 new converts by the Church Growth Institute, 75 percent indicated friends or relatives had invited them.

 

2. Relationships Require an Investment of Time and Energy. (Verses 2-3)

 

“Then make my joy complete by being like‑minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.”

 

A. You have to give in order to gain.

 

Luke 6:31 says: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” THE GOLDEN RULE:

 

Illustration: Two men were hunting in the northern U.S. Suddenly one yelled, and the other looked up to see a grizzly charging them. The first frantically started to put on his tennis shoes. “What are you doing?” asked his companion. “Don’t you know you can’t outrun a grizzly bear?” As the man trotted away, he looked back and yelled, “I don’t have to outrun a grizzly. I just have to outrun you!” Being a friend goes against our natural tendency to put ourselves ahead of others, but it’s worth it.

 

·        Let’s face it, we’re selfish by nature.

 

·        People typically look at what’s best for them, not others.

 

·        We’re even taught this is a virtue—being assertive, getting what you need.

 

·        Our consumer culture caters to the notion that “It’s all about me.”

 

·        The Bible, however, tells us to put others first. We follow the One who was willing to give himself away.

 

B. Having friends requires extending yourself beyond your comfort zone.

 

Luke 6:38 says: “Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

 

Illustration: We give our time to others when they need it.

 

·        We loan our possessions or give money to friends in need.

 

·        Friendship requires sacrifice, and sometimes it’s one-sided.

 

·        You must be a friend in order to have one.

 

Illustration: Are you willing to extend yourself in order to be a friend?

 

·        Will you set aside your natural inclination to be possessive and defensive?

 

·        Will you take the time to notice what’s happening in another person’s life?

 

·        Will you get over the it’s-all-about-me mind-set?

 

3. Relationship Building Is Not Easy, but It Is Rewarding. (Verses 4-5)

 

“Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.”  Vs. 4-5

 

Illustration: Henry Durbanville said a friend is the first person who comes in when the whole world goes out. Are you a friend?

Here are some of the things you must learn to do if you would like to be a friend.

 

A. Be generous. (Mark 12:29-31).

 

“‘The most important one,’ answered Jesus, ‘is this: Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

 

·        A good friend is aware of the needs of others.

 

Philippians 2:4 says, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.”

 

·        Other people are constantly in need of companionship, encouragement, conversation, and assistance.

 

·        Give another person what he or she needs, and you’ll make a friend.

 

B. Be tolerant. (Proverbs 17:1).

 

“A rebuke impresses a man of discernment more than a hundred lashes a fool.”

 

Illustration: All friends will disappoint you from time to time with small slights or insults.

 

·        To be a friend, you must accept the faults and foibles of people.

 

·        If you insist on “paybacks” or getting your just reward in all situations, you’ll find it hard to keep friends. Be tolerant, and you’ll make friends.

 

C. Be trustworthy. (Proverbs 11:3)

 

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

 

Illustration: What’s the main thing you want in a friend? Most people would say, “Someone you can count on.”

 

·        Author Andy Steiner says society pressures adults to become more independent of friends, but research shows friendships are vital to our psychological and physical health (Utne Reader, September/October 2001).

 

·        A good friend is someone who is there when you need him or her.

 

·        A good friend keeps an open door and closed mouth.

 

D. Be considerate. (Proverbs 25:17)

 

“Seldom set foot in your neighbor’s house—too much of you, and he will hate you.”

 

Illustration: Don’t take advantage of your friends.

 

·        A good friend is there when you need him or her, but your friends have needs too.

 

·        Someone said a friend is a person who knocks before entering instead of after leaving.

 

·        Show up with something in your hand, not always with your hand out.

 

·        Remember the Golden Rule—treat your friends as you’d like to be treated.

 

Illustration: Dr. John Trent tells the story of a couple in West Texas. The wife, Betty, was very athletic in high school. At the age of 55 she visited Dr. Trent for help with pain and swollen joints.

 

After an examination, he told her she had rheumatoid arthritis for which there is no cure. She sat crying for a moment as she considered her future. Then her tall, West Texas cowboy husband walked into the room and sat down beside her.

 

Betty said, “Rusty, you need to get a divorce. I can’t be a wife to you anymore. It hurts every time I move, and I can’t even hold your hand. For your own sake, you need a woman who can really love you. Why don’t you get a divorce and go your way, and I’ll go mine?”

 

Dr. Trent said, “Rusty sat down on that stool beside her. He looked her in the eye and said, ‘Betty, can you smile? It doesn’t hurt to smile.’ He said, ‘That’s all I need, just a smile. Well, really I don’t even need a smile. All I need is you.’”

 

E. Be ____________________(careful) (Proverbs 22:24).

 

·        “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered.” Benjamin Franklin said, “Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.”

 

·        A poorly chosen friend can bring you to ruin.

 

·        Many people have failed financially, morally, and ethically because they chose the wrong friends.

 

·        Do your friends build you up or drag you down? Conclusion: Chuck Swindoll recounts a story of friendship from the life of Thomas Jefferson. “During his days as president, Thomas Jefferson and a group of companions were traveling across the country on horseback. They came to a river that had left its banks because of a recent downpour. The swollen river had washed the bridge away. Each rider was forced to ford the river on horseback, fighting for his life against the rapid currents. The very real possibility of death threatened each rider, which caused a traveler who was not part of their group to step aside and watch. After several had plunged in and made it to the other side, the stranger asked President Jefferson if he would ferry him across the river. The president agreed without hesitation. The man climbed on, and shortly thereafter the two of them made it safely to the other side. As the stranger slid off the back of the saddle onto dry ground, one in the group asked him, ‘Tell me, why did you select the president to ask this favor of?’ The man was shocked, admitting he had no idea it was the president who had helped him. ‘All I know,’ he said, ‘Is that on some of your faces was written the answer ‘No,’ and on some of them was the answer ‘Yes.’ His was a ‘Yes face’” (Charles Swindoll, The Grace Awakening, 1990, p. 6).

 

·        Is yours a “yes face”? Can others count on you to be a friend? People of faith are people of friendship. People of faith are constantly looking to meet the needs of others, not just of themselves. Who is the person you can befriend today?

“The philosophy of a vibrant, growing church is rooted in Philippians 2:1-5—Christ First, Others a Close Second!” (Stan Toler)

MY HOPE IS THAT AT NEW HEIGHTS CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP YOU WILL BE GOOD FRIENDS WITH GOD AND WITH THE PEOPLE WHO MAKE UP THE NEW HEIGHTS CHURCH FAMILY.

 

THE KINDS OF WORDS FRIENDS SAY TO EACH OTHER:

 

1)     I’M PROUD OF YOU, I BELIEVE IN YOU, YOU ARE A WINNER.

 

2)     I’M SORRY, I WAS WRONG, PLEASE FORGIVE ME.

 

3)     YOU ARE FORVGIVEN!

 

4)     THANK YOU.

 

5)     I ACCEPT YOU AND APPRECIATE YOU JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

 

6)     WHILE I ACCEPT YOU AND LOVE YOU UNCONDITIONALLY, I DO NOT AGREE WITH YOUR CURRENT BEHAVIOR AND I HAVE SOME INSIGHTS FOR YOU THAT YOU MAY NOT SEE BECAUSE OF YOUR BLIND SPOTS – SO EAT THE FISH AND SPIT OUT THE BONES.

 

7)     I LOVE YOU ALWAYS NO MATTER WHAT!

 

REASONS WHY WE ARE HESITANT TO GET TO CLOSE TO PEOPLE:

1.      FEAR OF BEING HURT.

2.      DO NOT WANT TO PAY THE PRICE.

3.      TOO BUSY AND PRIORITIES ARE OUT OF WHACK.

4.      TOO INDEPENDENT.

5.      UNDERESTIMATE THE BLESSING.

Ecclesiastes 4:7-14 says:

7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:

 8 There was a man all alone;
       he had neither son nor brother.
       There was no end to his toil,
       yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
       "For whom am I toiling," he asked,
       "and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
       This too is meaningless—
       a miserable business!

 9 Two are better than one,
       because they have a good return for their work:

 10 If one falls down,
       his friend can help him up.
       But pity the man who falls
       and has no one to help him up!

 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
       But how can one keep warm alone?

 12 Though one may be overpowered,
       two can defend themselves.
       A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

·        We need to be friends with people and with God.

  • JESUS CALLS YOU TO BE HIS FRIEND.

 

  • JESUS THEN CALLS YOU TO GO BE A FRIEND TO A PERSON WHO NEEDS ONE.

 

John 15:10-20 says:

 

10If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. 11I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14You are my friends if you do what I command. 15I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. 17This is my command: Love each other.

 

  • NO OTHER PROFESSING GOD OR PROPHET MADE SUCH A STATEMENT.

 

  • JESUS, WHO IS GOD, CALLS YOU TO BE HIS FRIEND AND TO BE FRIENDS WITH OTHER CHRIST-FOLLOWERS!

 

Matthew 22:37-40 says:

 

37Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'[a] 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'[b] 40All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments."

 

THE GOAL AND VISION OF NEW HEIGHTS CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP IS TO EMPOWER PEOPLE TO BECOME THE PERSON GOD CREATED THEM TO BE -THAT HAPPENS WHEN WE LOVE GOD AND LOVE PEOPLE, AND TO LOVE ANOTHER IS TO BE THEIR FRIEND!