Pointless observations about the world of Drakan
from the Drakan forums

These aren't meant to be criticisms, I loved the game. Some are just... pointless observations, others are meant to be humorous.

1) Orc and wartocs are all right handed, or maybe you just have to be right handed to join the maurauding hordes. Giants throw with their right.

2) The world has more than one moon.

3) Rynn can use many blunt and edged weapons, as well as bows and magical wands. But apparently a pick axe is beyond her skills.

4) A dragon needs proper human guidance to coordinate moving it's legs.

5) If you're evil, your supply of sharp-things-to-be-thrown never runs out.

6) While orc, wartoc and giant bodies can be hacked to pieces, apparenty human bodies are indestructible.

7) Trees and most wooden objects are fire-reistant.

8) Arohk can't fly here.

9) One can store many weapons in the back of their shirt.

10) Arohk is afraid of getting wet.

11) Equipment can be laying on a body long enough for it to decay into a skeleton and still be as good as new.

12) Rynn would prefer a two handed swing to using a shield.

13) Humans have all mastered telepathic communication to avoid moving their lips.

14) Invisibility potion works on anything you're wearing, but not what you're holding.

15) Arohk refuses to help you carry items.

16) You can hold 50 potions, which take one block each, but you can't hold 10 swords that take 3.

17) Dragons can get stuck trying to turn in tight places.

18) Arohk can't be hurt by his own flame, poison, ice, ect but he can be hurt by the same thing from another source.

19) When you're the ultimate evil and you need a body, find a little boy.

20) Monsters won't notice the light or crackle of a flame sword as long as you're walking up behind them quietly enough.

21) Orcs and wartoks can do some dumb things.

22) When you get a new breath weapon, your skins gets replaced by an exact replica.

23) Dropping from the sky in a frozen state gets messy.

24) Giant ticks will prefer to suck at a blood puddle than to attack.

25) Mythril is sturdier than steel.

26) You can't keep differant kinds of arrows in the same quiver.

27) Rynn can walk on magma without sinking.

28) One can drink a few hundred magical potions without ever having to go to the bathroom.

29) If you run out of rocks, throw an ally.  The opposite is true as well.

30) Dragon remains are used in ship building.

Xiao Mao:
31) Skeletons can hang from rafter nails without falling into piles of bones (invisible super glue?)

32) Orcs have a fondness for drink while Wartoks have a fondness for sleep.

33) Dragons sound just like Klingons

34) If a skeleton is still wearing armor, its exactly the same size as Rynn wears.

35) Rynn can't reach that. (lazy I guess)

36) Ghosts look more like mummies than people would think.

37) The Islands are uninhabited by human civilization.

38) Lightning-firing crystals can be repaired in less than 24 hours.

39) Momentum means nothing - try to run up a steep slope and you'll stop instantaneously.

40) You can only use an orc's weapon if you're fighting clones of yourself.

41) Insects and arachnids adapt to their environment by growing really big and pouncing like cats.

42) All skeletons were female warriors

42b) ... that wore DD-cup armor.

43) Goblins evolved from the gecko in Gex (or so it seems to me anyway)

44) Rynn is the only living thing that can run out of ammunition / break swords / damage her armor / deplete crystals with spells in them.

45) Wartoks / orcs are incapable of crossing bridges, so they must be capable of teleportation, but only when you aren't looking. How else do they get to those little islands / ledges?

46) When in doubt, toast it.

47) Sticking an arrow into the back of a creatures throat at high velocity does no more damage than sticking said arrow into it's arm.

48) Soccer was invented long before most people suppose... try kicking a pile of bloody remains and you'll see what I mean.

49) Corollary to #48: The air of Drakan has some odd element that turns flesh into rubber after a creature is dismembered.

50) Healing potions have incredible nutritional value, as Rynn and Arokh never seem to get hungry. Wouldn't it be cool if Arokh ate an orc?

51) Spider web is undestructable.

52) Orcs and Wartoks don't fear dragons, but if you can make a poof of flame in your hand it sends them running.

53) To increase their forces, the bad guys just used cloning. Not only does it help in raising an army, but one size fits all! ... unless you don't wear clothing.

54) Dracoliches can shoot lightning, despite the fact they have no organs to generate electricity.

55) Rynn can change armor without worrying about any of that strap stuff.

56) Queen spiders have no interest in moving, even if you shoot a few arrows into them.

57) Kilts are the latest in monster wear.

58) Rynn refuses to degrade herself by picking up low quality weapons after killing a creature.

59) Rynn only cares about her brother. What happened to the rest of the kidnapped children? I'm busy here!

60) The orcs knew Rynn was the main character, therefore they only knocked her out when they kidnapped Delon to avoid losing their jobs.

61) Rynn can't retrieve all her arrows because she doesn't feel like bending over, walking across arrows tends to break them.

62) Arohk has in-flight meals, saying Rynn the time needed to stop and eat.

63) The wartoks built giant flame shooting crossbows. Sure, the order of the flame has been dead for years, but you never know when a dragon will turn up!

64) Succubi seduce men to have sex with them and steal their life force... do we wanna know how Queen Sheela got her meals?

65) Do we wanna know where she kept that locking rune?

66) Rynn was able to catch up to the ship Arohk was taken away on, due to the fact that the crew forgot to lower the sails and was delayed as they were broken off at the cave exit.

67) You never know what you'll find on a dead body.

68) If you can't beat them, run away.

69) If a book opens a secret passage, only that book will do, since no two books are the same shape.

70) Runeblades can be quickly repaired with super glue.

71) The rift crystal serve no purpose except to give the bad guys a chance to capture Arohk.

72) Arohk can be captured without taking a single wound (or else Rynn would have felt it).

73) That stings.

74) Arohk can turn upside down without Rynn falling off. How? Velcro.

75) Punching wasn't invented in this world. It's a weapon, or nothing.

76) According to the engineering code of every species of Drakan, all mines / passages must have at least one way through that is large enough to accomodate large dragons, though the lever to open any big doors along this route should be accessible only to smaller species.

77) Arokh can't land on boats.

78) Holding a sword horizontally at eye level will protect you fairly well against a hit from any angle.

79) Changing weapons in mid-swing is no sweat.

80) Dragons don't blink.

81) Primitive Giants will sit down now and then, but Wartoks are too tough. They never get tired.

82) It is only permissible for Wartoks to speak English during a 'cut-scene'. If the Wartok hasn't been cued that a 'cut-scene' is in progress, he can only grunt.

83) Every machine has it's switch.

84) It is impossible to swim forward with your head above water.

85) Even if the back of your shirt is so full you can't hold any other weapons there, or "stow" your current weapon, you can always throw it back there for swimming / switch flipping purposes. Shirts are infinite.

86) Even though skeletal wings have holes in them, they can still be used to fly.

87) Blood does not mix with water, and if you look at blood through the water, it's as clear as ever.

88) Dragons, dragonflies, and succubi are indestructible when they die.

89) If you shoot arrows at someone controlling a ballista, the entire ballista will be destroyed.

90) Some objects bounce, and others are immovable. There is no in between.

91) If you save a guy from an orc who's trying to kill him, the guy will either say nothing and walk in place or try to hit you with his pickaxe.

92) Only orcs with a lot of potions need to go to the bathroom.

93) Defeating an ice dragon will cause mountains to turn into poison gas runes.

94) Creatures only talk when they're not fighting.

95) When Arokh is chained up, hitting him will only kill Rynn, but Arokh will still be alive.

96) Flame swords are only on fire when held in one's hand.

97) Bowstrings are just there for looks. There is no need to actually hook your arrow to it and pull it back. Just rest the arrow across the string and it works fine.

98) Dragons have a flight-ceiling of about 400 feet AGL (Above Ground Level). There is no way, no how, that a dragon can fly even 10 feet higher even for purposes of crossing a small ridge.

99) Climbing is like soccer: no hands allowed. If you can't jump to it, it's not worth getting to, or perhaps you need to find a way that requires jumping a checkerboard pattern above perilous magma and going the long way around.

100) Rope bridges creak for no apparent reason, given that they never actually sway or move.

101) Spiders actually CAN bleed to death.

102) Heroine's never worry about split ends, or even brushing their hair. Seawater and all that salt is of no concern.

103) Even dying people have time to summarize their story into bullet points that you can use as mission objectives.

104) Rynn is a very good artist. She can draw incredible little icons on her maps.

105) Somehow, Rynn gets a map of an entire area, complete with a mini-GPS to pinpoint her location, upon entering each new area.

106) Fish... aren't.

107) Clothes can freeze. Weapons can't.

108) There are no Footprints in the Sand.

109) Luckily, flame swords are incapable of singe-ing anything on the person weilding them.

110) No matter how hard it snows, shivering is un-ladylike, despite skimpy armor.

111) Perhaps as a side effect of bonding with Arokh, Rynn can move boulders 4 times her own size, and deftly swing weapons as big as she is, without even being thrown off balance.

Knife Hand
112) Wartoks remind me of Trollocs

113) I don't have any room

114) Arokh can't land here

115) You can whistle and call Arokh like he is a dog

116) Rynn always feels a bit lazy

117) Fear not, Arokh is coming

118) You can play soccer with gibs

119) Sleep is irrelevant (both to Rynn and the player)

120) It's *never* sharp enough (psuedo-Screamers reference here...)

121) Fire arrows are enflamed by the rush of air immediately after loosing them from a bow.

122) Arms, hands, faces, etc are all chop-offable, but legs are not.

123) A little spot of metal on each leg, a bit around your wrists, and some revealing body armor is enough for anybody.

124) All plate mail looks the same.

125) Despite the lack of a manufacturing process, all orc weapons look carbon-copied.

126) If a Wartok has something stupid to do, it won't do it until somebody is watching.

127) The ability to float / swim is not affected by wearing heavy armor, nor it is affected by carrying an extra set of armor, a few dozen arrows, a bow, 2 swords and an axe along with a dozen or so glass vials of magical elixirs in one's back pocket.

128) Nobody ever carries keys with them, they always leave them on a table somewhere, unless they are dead, in which case the key may reside with their skeleton.

129) Rynn only uses the highest-grade anti-gravity arrows.

130) Scavengers, wartoks, orcs, and all other denizens of Drakan have never taken swimming lessons.

131) Scavengers have incredibly high blood pressure. (chop off an arm, blood hits the ceiling in continuous spurts)

132) Spiders are never sure if they are all in one piece. Chop off their piercing fore-limbs and they will still try to attack you by waving their stumps.

Knife Hand
133) Tultol can appear out of thin air

134) Arokh has very little fighting ability without Rynn

135) Wartoks and Goblins have no peripheral vision.

136) Birds can't flap their wings up side down, but dragons can.

137) Insects can fly underwater, amazing.

138) Unlike Lara Croft, Rynn never climbs anything but ladders...

139) Only sub-par heroines need big backpacks! True heroines use that mysterious alternate dimention Shirtspace (tm). Of course, certain heronies might need big backpacks as counter-balance... ahem

Knife Hand
140) Succubi are a bit TOO friendly, if you know what I mean.

141) If I were Rynn, I wouldn't have gotten anwhere near that Succubi who couldn't take a bath.

142) When you walk up to Arokh head-on, he looks down the front of your armor.

143) 3 out of 4 doctors recommend moving FAST when you hear "Rynn, get out of the way!"

144) The succubi are a remarkably beautiful sort of demon... Their queen should be the most beautiful... right?

145) Evey monster comes equiped with a patented 'Potion ejection system'. In case of death, all potions on their person are jettisoned.

146) All scavangers are bloody... No matter what.

147) Magic obviously cloaks furniture and inhabitants of houses from anyone peeking through the door.

148) Spiders like see-saws in their lairs.

149) They don't make monsters like they used to. They fall apart when thrown.

150) Every 'bottomless pit' ends just when you can't see the walls due to darkness

151) Whirlpools are not only good teleporters... They are great for taking showers!

152) The guy at the belltower is a hippy, peace sign on bottom of sea near there.

153) Tiny pieces of armor still provide protection.

154) Baddies have no qualms about following you right back to your Dragon.

155) Orcs in ballistas /always/ splatter, even if they are not thrown high.

156) The gods of the realm decided that it was taboo to jump while kicking around pieces of stuff.

157) Stone platforms containing firey swords can float in midair.

158) Bats fly off the ceiling and quickly hit the floor.

159) Arokh stares at Rynn whenever she is within range... How embarrasing.

160) #1 tip for upping life expectancy in the Dark Union: BE ON TIME!

161) Monsters that hear Rynn when she is hiding behind posts and shouts out don't think she is much of a threat... They look at her then look back away.

162) The queen has it backward.. Arokh sucks without Rynn, not the other way around.

163) Soul crystals can slide through spinal cords with ease!

164) Screaming swords don't scare minions of evil.

165) Making a big piece of Grimstone fall blows up mines and the like.

166) Evilings always leave at least one man/woman sized opening into their lairs that can be entered.

167) Rynn cannot seem to open her hands.

168) Succubi queens sure do seem to have a heck of alot of Gas!! Beano for the queeno?

169) Dragons think humans are lazy, (Deep dragon voice insert here --> )"feeling a bit lazy are we?"

170) Apparently the spears that the knights throw are awfully heavy "Huhh!!" "Huhh!!"

"Pointless observations of what would be cool IF it WAS in the world of Drakan"

171) In the intro sequence, after Rynn dispatches the first two Orcs to attack, she should say "Alright... who wants some... who's next?"

172) Orcs in hang-gliders dropping rocks

173) At the end (which I haven't gotten to yet, but I assume Narvos must be there somewhere..) he should say "Rynn... I am your father"

174) In combat with an enemy, after chopping off their weapon-hand, Rynn should say "You gonna do something, or just stand there and bleed?"

175) Footprints

Back to the actual observations...
Mystery Man
176) When Rynn falls from a high cliff she explodes on impact.

177) During the intro sequence why don't the Wartoks take you away with them?

178.) Due to a rare paralyzing nerve condition in her hands, Rynn is unable to climb slopes that she cannot easily walk up.

179.) Scavengers are very family oriented -- witness the one room in Wartok Canyons holding two parents and three little babies. (Awwww! How cute!)

180.) When threatened by mummy-like ghosts hurling green skulls and pyrotechnics, simply beat with any physical object until they go away.

181.) Rynn's entire village has only one outhouse, which is accessible only by swimming against a strong current. Perhaps this explains why they were so easily conquered?

182.) All inhabitants of the land of Drakan speak English with a Midwestern accent.

183.) Orcs come in two flavors -- berry purple and lemon yellow.

184.) WARNING: Orcs and Wartoks are highly combustible when struck with boulders.

185.) Rynn is very fragile -- when sliced in the legs by a swinging-blade trap, it instantly causes her to fall apart into meaty, bite-sized chunks.

186.) Wartoks never surrender -- even when missing a head.

Mystery Man
187) No one in the game speaks Ye Olde English.

188) Rynn can ski down a rocky slope like it was snow-covered.

189) If she rolls a rock up to a tree, it will roll up the side of the tree and get stuck halfway up (wish I had a screenshot of this, it looks really funny).

190) Contrary to most people's expectations, dragons basically fly like helecopters; so much so that helecopter tactics (like "pop-up" attacks) work best.

191) Trees don't actually have branches, but rather green skirts on which adventuring heroines can take rest breaks on before continuing their downwards decent.

192) Arokh looks well-rested.

193) Dark Knights have pretty-good kung-fu.

194) The Queen of the Succubi came from Brooklyn N.Y.

Project 2501
195) You don't need underwear with chainmail.

196) Flame breath can toast a giant in a few seconds, but can't burn down a door. (Or a straw roof, for that matter)

197) I'll believe in Dragons when pigs fly, which actually occurs with distressing frequency in the land of Drakan....whoops, there goes another one.

198) After explosions, Wartoks are crashing boars.

199) I've seen ham hocks. Which part is the Wartok hock?

200) How much hock can a Wartok hock if a Wartok could hock...oh, never mind.

201) Lord of the Rings notwithstanding, according to the manual, orcs are "directly related to Wartoks..." Which leads me to the following observation:

202) Orcs: the other white meat.

203) Boulders can kill Rynn, Wartoks, Orcs, etc, but they can also slip right through a "solid" rock wall.

204) Consuming an Invisability Potion will make Rynn's clothes and armor disappear, but not her weapons.

205) Arrows do not fall in flight, they just disappear after awhile.

206) You should not question a dragon on how long it takes him to show up. He might get snappy with you.

207) Monsters (especially goblins) can scream when they die even if the whole top half of their body is meaty bits.

Will Suncrusher
208) Rynn never has to pull the string back of her bow... just let it go and woosh!

209) Rynn can't stand still. she's always swaying....

210) the world of drakan is so high-tech they don't even need ropes or grappling hooks (otherwise rynn would be carrying one, right?)

211) rynn's got no friends! everyone wants to take a hack at her!

212) arokh's neck has built-in springs that make his head bob up and down when walking

213) rynn's clothes are water-resistant. so is her hair.

214) rynn's hair has been ultra-treated with hair spray, no matter how she moves or how high she jumps, her 'do stays in place.

215) arokh can walk sideways on walls without tilting over or rynn falling off

216) while riding arokh, rynn is busy with the in-flight snacks that she can't even grab a bow and help arokh fight even if four dragons are attacking the poor creature...

217) in the rift world when rynn saw her brother, she activated the built-in turbo boost in her boots to leap over such a looooong abyss

218) Arokh definitely does NOT give you enough time to "Step aside!"

Back to The Sine Wave