ESEagletips Recommendation LtrV2moWDATWP00 9Ph<@x"0WL@,0 "d0dNV `Xd"ppJ $pD@ЊЊϊЊЊϊJ B@̍0 X<LF@ :<"$"$Z0 X<d ,"HHdp9@T<TX",Td (BpnVj&>B>n*)`Cp0@p C L.2/`0@CppH@($@`&&%  0   .2$C&C&/`@"@pH@:2@`&& l *   Y 0 x  0   .2C&C&% d l  x `jC&Y Cp&*.,y0 C0"@@HH<H4H8 H/HH`jC&Y Cp6<@>y0 C00@@HH<HFHJ H/HH0|dlx0< $ d ]nA "Main ArticleMain SectionX 9H@@@@L Main Section>&2 Normal Header Footere -HNormal@Header@FooterT-HlX Y 0"$, TH4&  ddY8t H<H0"1Hp<pl"0pz[T>ZvRB^`Xd4p>4p , @$@ЊЊϊЊЊϊJ @9`p $"lx0<(@4p0 X<L&@ :<"$"$Z0 X<`   n]F t  0 @Bp   l  x 0x *.2xHH<H8H< H@&. ̮`x|!P@0 @HAHH<HHX H/HH 6 6HH 6H`"[ 6Hx&^ 6H * 6H ._6H23 6H60 6H:H>l˚"J [ ,7 F,T\ bf]4\@6then I will drop the whole issue. If he doesn't, then I will start my letter by going through what happened at the BoR for FC, making clear that it was his dad's problem, not James. Regardless of the outcome of the above, the letter will state that I am not in a position to reccomend or not reccomend James because I have not been involved in his BSA activities. I will also state that from what I can tell, James does his best to live the scout oath and law. This is hardly the letter that James expects. I sincerely hope that I do this whole thing in such a manner as to not offend, embarrass, demotivate or turn him off to BSA. James is a great kid. His parents............well........I'll be gracious and not comment. I have always maintained, ever since I joined at age 11, that BSA would be an awesome program except for SOME of the adults that have to get involved in it. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: BRUCE C JOHNSON For the 13-year-old Scout who would like the recommendation for Eagle: I would tell the Scout (honestly, I believe) that I haven't been in contact with his work in Scouting recently and that I don't believe that I can give an honest, accurate assessment of his readiness for Eagle. Consequently, I would rather not write the recommendation. I don't think the age is a factor, and even the immaturty you see may be irrelevant. It sounds like the father's expectations have gotten in the way of his son's best interests. ( I personally have tried to avoid situations that look like I'm giving my son an unfair advantage.) I wouldn't punish the son for that, but neither would I help him with a recommendation. Be honest and politely decline to right the recommendation. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: "Timothy J. O'Leary" I, too was a young Eagle (Board of Review just before my 13th birthday). I loved Scouting (still do!), but never served as SPL or ASPL (though I was a den chief, PL and JASM before heading off to college). A few observations: Many "young Eagles" also do other things young. I graduated from high school at 16 and college at 19 - had a Ph.D. by 22. The story is similar for many young Eagles. Much of the non-leadership side of Scouting is very "academic" and is quite easy for a bright kid. Leadership, too, has many faces; some boys formally meet the leadership requirements as den chiefs or whatever, but show more true leadership than demonstrate their SPL's and ASPL's through their quite service to others in the troop. Leadership isn't always (or even usually) standing up in front of a group and getting things going. The real leaders are often active "behind the scenes." Every adult leader knows these boys - we should recognize that they have developed the leadership skills expected of an Eagle. All that said, perhaps we should think about the Eagle award more like OA - less a reward for achievement, than a challenge to meet the challenge of being an Eagle, every day, always. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Heyboer Brian J I'm running behind in reading/responding to the list, but had to reply here: Quoting John E. Pannell (pannellj@delphi.com) > The Eagle badge is given because the boy earned it. If for some reason, he > chooses to partake in other activities as he gets older and chooses to leave > Scouting, so be it. It is a loss to us and to him, but these things happen. > We should give our youth every opportunity to advance towards Eagle, but if > this means pinning an Eagle medal on an unqualified 12, 13, or 14 year old I > must vehemently object. Earning Eagle is a step he must take himself. Gotta voice an AMEN here. As an Eagle Scout myself (earned days past my 16th birthday), I was initially pained when my son (soon to be 16 and still Star) did not seem "advancement minded" and thus will likely never earn Eagle. I was never the type to "push" him is Scouting and only made gentle suggestions. Finally, I came to the same conclusion that John puts so well above and stopped talking about it. He is still a Scout, though Band keeps him away from a lot of activities, and that alone will make a big difference in his life. We should _NOT_ be PUSHING Eagle, we should be dangling it as a carrot. Those who are SELF-motivated to attain it will, and to them it will have real meaning. Of course, we shouldn't be erecting roadblocks on the trail, either. 0@@  0Jd~ 9  Y  0Jdz (<Pd YY$,r*:J^ NormalFlow Region Rule LinesHeader / FooterGraphics Frame̹ 1Qp@Normal@Flow Region@Rule Lines@Header / Footer@Graphics Frame`0, <$ 0,XX `$2 \Xl&  ddY ddY ddYx `8Y 0"$Y 0"$Y 0"$Y@0"$Y@0"$Y@0"$0$2 ($pn&R :fJz)`"@$pp S fr.2Fr)`&@@p S$.2)`*@"@p S(NN.2)`.@&@p S,0i.2 )`2@*@p S0c.2 [)`6@.@p S4l.2)`:@2@p S8 .2)`>@6@p S<b*          .24)`$p:@p S@.2Lt & My first gut feeling was to not write one at all, and if asked, say I forgot and have been really busy. I'm not sure what other councils do, but ours returns these letters to the boy at the BoR. So anything I write, he will see. FYI, the dad is a salesman, one of the best in his company. Thrives on achievement and recognition. I guess there is nothing wrong with that if the rules are followed, which they weren't in this case. PLEASE HELP!!! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Ian Ford Greg - As I see it you have two alternatives. (1) Write an honest letter, outlining what you have told us, i.e. that you know about the circumstances of the " illegal " board and the fact that he did not meet the requirements. Then send it. OR (2) Tell the kid what you would write , and suggest that he consider carefully if he is really ready to be an Eagle Scout. If he still insists , tell him go find another refereee. I have always made it a policy of showing staff etc. reference letters, and I have followed this practice in giving the kids I write references for a copy so they can see what I have said. Usually after I have sent it off. The few I have done have not been a problem because they were all glowing. The one kid who was a " problem " who I knew something detrimental about did not use me as a referee. Had he asked I would have told him that I would put as best a gloss as I could on the incident (he was fired from Summer Camp Staff for reasons I need not go into here but would not cover it up. In the end that kid get his Eagle, but the board was in posession of the relevant facts from another source. It was a long , tough board and a marginal decision , but it was felt that he had recovered from his previous bad ways. He did, however, wait about six months as a Life Scout between completing requirements and putting his application in, and did genuinely show some improvement in his behaviour. This was partly on my advice. I said that whilst the incident was fresh he should not put in his form , because it would be rejected. Equally, I think we should accept that repentance and time cures many problems. Something about repenting sinners vs just men springs to mind. Perhaps you need to talk to the boy and his parents if you feel that it is they who are pushing him - sounds like they are - and raise these issues. It may be that you feel the need to inform the Board of the circumstances in any case. Not knowing the circumstances I can't say , but I think that there might be times when in all good conscience a word to the Chairman of the board would help. Ask the Board to raise the same question you did! It is within their power. You could even just feed them the question without saying why. I guess it's a decision that will take some praying over ... God give you the strength to choose the right path. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-   & EAGTIP12 [Writing or not writing an Eagle recommendation letter. ] From: Greg Stewart Hello Scouters! I just received a call from a very very very young Life Scout asking me to write a letter of recommendation for his Eagle. I have several problems with doing so, but at the same time feel obligated. Please, all you wise and talented guys and gals, HELP ME!! I was the SM when this boy's older brother earned Eagle at age 13. I resisted the quick advancement as best I could. But he did fulfill the requirements (with a lot of parent's help) and the BoR, so he was given the badge. He has since turned into a great scout ... you could say he finally grew into the rank. (He's 15 now). James, the younger brother is barely 13 now. He is very immature. His dad has done close to 80% of his project for him. I am not involved with this particular troop anymore, so have had no interaction with either son or father. I was the Committee Chair when James was up for First Class. His dad was SM. James' First Class BoR was conducted by a Board consisting of his Dad (the SM), his Mom, and another new parent who was not familiar with the process. James was not even 11 when this happened. (He got arrow of light at age 10 1/2 and thus advanced into Scout Troop). Knowing that the Board was invalid, and that there was no way in heck he could be ready for First Class, I confronted the dad and told him I wanted the advancement form. I told him I would interview the boy, and if he satisfied my questions, I would sign the form and personally deliver it to the scout office. The dad relunctantly said OK. The first and only question I asked James was "tell me about the ten scouting activities other than troop meetings you have attended, including three campouts?" He couldn't name them. But he promised he had been on that many. I knew that was not possible because the TROOP had not had that many since he had joined. But in fairness to James, I told him to go home, try to remember them all, write them down, then come see me again and I would pass him. He accepted that option readily. Well, several weeks later I found out the dad had filled out another advancement form and sent it in behind my back. James never did respond with the list of activities. I later was "released" (just gave my religion away) [NOTE: LDS Scouters serve upon appointment by the local Church Bishop, because in the "Morman" Church, Scouting is an integal part of the missions of the Church] as committee chair, and have since kept my distance from this boy and his family as far as scouting is concerned. Other than to ask around about his Eagle Project, which was more like an adult work party, I know nothing of his leadership abilities, troop activities, etc. etc. etc. I have no idea if he cheated on the other ranks like he did for First Class (my opinion). From seeing him at Church and School activities, all I can tell is he is a 9-year-old in a 13-year-old body. So now he expects me to write him a letter of reccomendation. Should I? If so, should I be honest and state that I do not believe he is Eagle material? Or to keep peace, should I write a "generic" letter. tter. @+D]v WW bbb --  YLv"*h@@\ = 3 me with another skinny blond-haired kid that always got into trouble. Fortunately by then, I had learned to make it mandatory that I have "right of refusal" to all refs that I solicit. IMHO the scout has every right to know where he stands when asking for a letter of reference. He only hasn't learned to ask whether it would be a positive one; what it would based it on and would it be truly fair in its approach. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Greg Stewart Thanks for all the help. However, I am still losing sleep over this letter. A few points I want to make: >>>1. My posting was not supposed to be about my being "honest". Now that I reread my post, I see that I asked if I should be honest. This is obviously a very stupid question. What I was quickly trying to express is, should I make a big deal out of this two-year-old problem or just ignore it. To put you good Scouters, who have my best interests at heart, at ease: ..........(raising arm to square, making scout sign)...I hereby do promise to do my best to live the scout oath and scout law in regards to the matter of the letter of reccomendation. (lowering arm now because I can't type too well one-handed). There. I hope that clears that up. >>>2. I have not been involved with James in BSA for 2 years. As such, I have no idea if he is qualified for Eagle. I also feel very uncomfortable talking to him about it because I do not feel it is my job and it would be taken as "meddling" by most of the leaders in the troop. This is the job of the SM and Committee Chair. (WAIT....I just remembered! His dad is the SM and his mom is the Chair! Oh heck anyways. What a mess.) >>>3. I got my Eagle at age 17 & 362/365. I personally have a pinch point with 12-year-old Eagles. However, from going through all the heck I did with James' older brother and seeing the effect it had on him, I believe it would be very unjust to not give a boy, who had FAIRLY completed all the requirements, his badge simply because of his age. Thus I do not intend to make this an issue either. I know I wouldn't get any where even if I did. >>>4. I completely believe that James is completely innocent regarding any of the shortcuts or cheating that was (is??) going on. When I interviewed him, I got the feeling that he could care less about scouting. He did careabout pleasing his dad, me, all other adults. I believe he did not respond to my request for the list of activities because his dad told him not to. I also believe that he is not aware that there is or ever was a problem. That is evidenced by the fact he asked me to give him a letter of reccomendation. So the problem is how to beat up the parents with out hurting poor innocent James, who is merely a puppet for an over-achieving dad. I have decided to write a letter. I will seal it and mail it directly to the BSA advancement folks in the Council Office. I will also copy the Bishop on it, as when the poop hits the fan, it will more than likely settle in his office eventually. I may even copy James' mom, since she is the committee chair. Before writing the letter, I plan to call James and ask him for the list of activities. If he submits one, (it would have to be ficticious) then I will either show him that it is ficticious, or if I can't, orL i_Greg, perhaps you should tell him you will write it as soon as you get a list of the ten activities he participated in to get his first class! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: "Christopher L. Rankin (216) 397-5100" Greg, The first point of the Scout Law is "A Scout is trustworthy." You wouldn't be doing either him or yourself any good by writing a "generic" letter recommending that this boy be awarded Eagle. Likewise, you wouldn't be doing the honest thing by just not writing one at all and lying about why you didn't. I feel that the best thing you could possibly do in this situation would be to write the truthful "recommendation" and give it to the boy to read. Tell him that this is what you prepared for the Board to get to know him better, based upon your past experiences with him. I would also make it a point to tell the Scout exactly where you feel he needs to improve and what areas he needs to build upon for you to change the letter to a favorable one. Who knows? If you're one of the people this kid came to for a recommendation, even after the fiasco that ocurred a few years ago, then there must be some reason. Maybe this Scout wants your approval specifically and would be willing to operate on the higher standards you set forth as a requirement for you to be willing to write a good recommendation. Perhaps the Scout just does not view himself the way you view him from the perspective of another individual (maybe reading an honest recommendation would give him sufficient motivation to change somewhat). In any case, writing an honest one now and using it as motivation for better actions can only help and afford a new learning experience, right? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Keith Sutton I've found the recent thread concerning letters of reference and Eagle at 13 very interesting. One thought that should never leave one's mind is that all references should be written for all to see or not at all. Refs frequently tell more and disclose more about the writer than the person being written about. A scouter with the experience that the years have brought him should remember his position and standing. Does the scout of age 11 realize that you hold him in such low esteem? What if the scout actually were able to produce the record you have pre-judged him by? Was the 2-year old incident one the scout remembers? Do you think he feels he was fairly treated at that time or did he think you unjustified in your approach & went to someone else? Will you hold him to the same standard for the deed done when he was 11 when he's 13? 15? 17-364/365ths? A scouter of 45? There is the philosophy of a boy run unit. If it is a true one, mistakes will be made and hopefully learned from. Those two years to an 11 year-old would be similar to and as possibly meaningful as an event 10 or 20 years to an adult. If he has asked you for a reference, he probably holds you in some positive regard. He obviously has misjudged you, or perhaps more accurately he hasn't learned about what people say and do are two different things. I feel a scout should also be afforded the option of knowing the contents of ref so that he could choose whether or not to select you as a referrer. If one is uncomfortable with that, to decline to write is the best course. As a youth I had to ask several adults at varying times to write references for me for various things (eagle, college, jobs, etc.) I tried to pick adults who knew me, who saw my growth over time and that had what I thought were positive interactions with. Imagine my surprise at reading a ref from an adult with an obvious bone to chew. Turned out I was wrong; he didn't know me; he wrote an extremely negative ref based on his opinion of me. The problem was he confused used  > write a letter of recommendation for his Eagle. I have several problems with > doing so, but at the same time feel obligated. Please, all you wise and > talented guys and gals, HELP ME!! > > [Helpful background material deleted to save bandwidth] > > So now he expects me to write him a letter of reccomendation. Should I? If > so, should I be honest and state that I do not believe he is Eagle material? > Or to keep peace, should I write a "generic" letter. > > My first gut feeling was to not write one at all, and if asked, say I forgot > and have been really busy. Greg, Write the letter. Given the background, I would wonder why he would ask you in the first place. You have an obligation to give your honest opinion of the candidate. My guess is, he'll probably still get Eagle anyway, but a least you had the opportunity to give your input. If he sees the letter, at least he might learn to ask the author of a letter of recommendation the type of letter that will be written. What a sad story. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Richard Russell Since the leadership requirement for a palm is so vague, it is pretty much left up to the discrection of the SM. However, this case is not one of inappropriate expections with regard to the requirements, rather it is one of failed communication at conveying those expectations. The Scout acted in good faith as he read the requirements. If the SM had not told him what his expectations are, then this ruling should have gone in favor of the boy. The SM Conference is the place to communicate these expectations for the next rank, in this case, a palm. While I do not agree with this particular SM's requirement, since it adds more than is implied by the written requirement, his error was not in having the expectation but in not communicating into the Scout and having some sort of agreement (a contract) with him about it. If he expects something like a mini-Eagle project then he ought to proceed with the same sort of approvals and checks along the way to insure the Scout has met the expectations. To spring it on him was unfair, the Scout, justifiably, felt it was unfair and says, "I don't need any more of this kind of treatment. I will go where I can achieve in other ways." What we as adults often forget is that teenagers (even though they may not act like it) are people, too. They need to be accorded all the considerations we would give to any other adult in our circle. And when they respond negatively, it's not always that they are just being adolescents, but sometimes, they have legitimate complaints about our failure to treat them as people with rights. Richard -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Jim Sleezer Greg asked about writing a letter of recommendation for a 13 year old eagle candidate: &From: Kathleen Burton About Greg in Eloika Lake, WA's problem with writing a recommendation for an Eagle candidate for a boy who he feels cheated on his First Class rank: Sounds like maybe the dad is more of the problem -- and I'd hate to hurt the boy if that is the case. But it's a difficult situation, because you *don't* want to just give it to him, either. From what you've said, I'd agree that it doesn't sound like the boy has really earned his Eagle. But I'm not sure if that's completely his fault, either. Unfortunately I don't know much about BSA policies and procedures -- what are the options? Can the boy be required to wait, or do something additional, or? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: "Paul H. Brown" If I were invited to submit a letter of recommendation for someone I didn't know well, I'd have to decline. You knwe him 2 years ago, as an immature 11 year old. Tell him you'd have to write a letter that included his cheating for his First Class rank and that you don't know if things have changed since then, or not. He'll find another recommender. And it won't make much difference. You have to live the Scout Law, too: Trustworthy...Brave... -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Bob Condon [Stuff deleted] > Well, several weeks later I found out the dad had filled out another > advancement form and sent it in behind my back. James never did respond with > the list of activities. > > I later was "released" (just gave my religion away) as committee chair, and > have since kept my distance from this boy and his family as far as scouting > is concerned. Other than to ask around about his Eagle Project, which was > more like an adult work party, I know nothing of his leadership abilities, > troop activities, etc. etc. etc. I have no idea if he cheated on the other > ranks like he did for First Class (my opinion). From seeing him at Church > and School activities, all I can tell is he is a 9-year-old in a 13-year-old > body. > > So now he expects me to write him a letter of reccomendation. Should I? I would call him (DAD) and tell him that you do not feel he is Eagle material due to the high involvement during the project. Ask him directly if he thinks he could do the Eagle project alone. > If > so, should I be honest and state that I do not believe he is Eagle material? > Or to keep peace, should I write a "generic" letter. Trustworthy, Brave? Don't recommend when you do not believe the recommendation is unworthy. That only damages yourself. > My first gut feeling was to not write one at all, and if asked, say I forgot > and have been really busy. Please be honest with them. My best advise is to send them this mail message and say that at this time, because of all the workings of the father and the lack of honesty in the process, that you can not give a recommendation at this time. I would also state to the council (or especially the committee to keep it local) that the project should be restarted if DAD has done the majority of the work. The Eagle project should not be accepted under these conditions. > FYI, the dad is a salesman, one of the best in his company. Thrives on > achievement and recognition. Except that everone in the process has been sold a bill of good. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: John Gareri Greg, You mentioned an interesting problem, that I had to think a while before I responded. In my peersonal opinion, I think that you should write the letter that you really want to write. Obviously, you feel strongly about the way the scout has been advanced. You should explain that the scouting program means a lot to you and to have the rank of Eagle cheapened by someone whose dad gave it away would only lessen the values of the award for everyone. I think the only person that would be served by you not writting the letter would be you, since he could certainly get a letter from someone else. Perhaps would could write on the envelope that it is a confidential letter to be for the board of review only. In my council, the letters are destroyed after the BofR. In the end, I think you would feel better and you would be doing a service to everyone who has earned Eagle by following the requirements not by having mommy or daddy do all the work. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: John Oakes Greg, Quite simply, I believe scripture tells us to speak forth the word of truth in love and honesty. Should we being LDS or non LDS not ascribe to the highest ideals ourselves..standing upon principle? I think so. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- From: Joseph Gareri Greg Stewart wrote: > Hello Scouters! > > I just received a call from a very very very young Life Scout asking me to @h@ L8Qj2Kd},E^w &?Xq 9Rk3Le~-F_x ' @ Y r  ! : S l   4 M f   . 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